How It Should Have Started
by dumbest genius i know 10
Summary: How I think the first episode should have ended. May be a one shot, may be more.
1. Chapter 1

**_I've never written anything before. If its good, let me know. If its bad, let me know._**

"In that?" I asked.

"What, theses are my going out clothes." Jane said, clearly mocking me. I think teasing me is one of her favorite pastimes.

We both laughed and joked with each other all the way to the bar. Lucky for us our booth at the Dirty Robber was empty. I knew Jane had been through a lot today so I insisted she take a seat while I went to get our drinks. I ordered her beer and myself a glass of Cabernet. I was picking up our drinks when I had a thought.

"Hey, could you also send an order of cheesy bacon fries to our table?"

"Sure thing, I'll have them right out", the bartender said with a wink.

I turned around to walk back to our table, but I stopped and watched my best friend for a few seconds. Even after the terrible day she's had, she's still one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Her wild raven hair, and her defined angular facial structure. She's absolutely gorgeous. She could easily be a model or something. The most attractive thing about her though, is the fact that she's completely unaware of how beautiful she truly is. Not only is she beautiful though, she's an amazing person on the inside too. She's witty, compassionate, thoughtful and damn good at her job. She's easily the best person I know. I don't know if these are normal thoughts to have about your best friend, but then again, I never had a best friend before Jane. She was just staring at my empty seat. Her right elbow was up on the table and she had her head propped up with her hand. She looked…I couldn't tell what she looked like. It wasn't sad, and it wasn't afraid. Pained, I guess that's the most accurate way to describe the way she looked. I felt my heart break a little. I hate seeing her like this. I want to do my best to cheer her up, so I put on my best fake smile and walk back to our booth.

"I'm back. I got you a beer", I said as I put our drinks down "but I didn't think to ask you what you wanted before I went over to the bar. Did you want something else? You mentioned bloody Mary's earlier. I'm sorry, I should have asked. What would you like? I'll go back over and…" Jane stopped my rambling by grabbing my hand.

"Maur, beer is fine. Thank you." She smiled up at me and I felt her thumb move across the back of my hand. I smiled back at her, then blushed and pulled my hand away from hers. I immediately missed the feeling of her hand on mine. I took my seat across from her and picked up my glass. I looked at my drink and then held the glass in front of my nose and breathed in deeply. I knew right away that this wine was not going to be satisfactory. I grimaced but decided to take a sip anyway. I was right. I heard Jane laugh quietly so I looked over at her.

"What's so funny, Jane?"

"You, doctor wine snob. What's wrong with this one?" she asked.

"The Cabernet here is chalky."

"Of course it is." Jane said as she smirked at me and shook her head.

We smiled at each other across the table. I knew she wanted to say something to me, but she wasn't quite ready yet. That's ok, I know if I wait her out, she'll tell me eventually. I tried to think of something to talk about until she was ready.

"Soooo how is Agent Dean? I heard he was on the scene with you and…Hoyt."

"Yeah, he was there." Jane paused before continuing. "I think he likes me, but…"

"But what Jane?"

"I don't know. He's smart and considerate, and, yeah ok, he's hot, but I'm just not interested."

"Really? Why not? I thought you were interested."

"Eh, not really." Jane sighed, and took a deep breath. "I just don't think he's the one for me."

"How can you possibly know that Jane? You haven't even been out with him yet. What if he is the one for you?"

"He's not…Maur, I think I already know who…"

The server walks over with a plate and interrupts Jane, who looks almost relieved." Here you go ladies, one order of fries. Enjoy!" he sets down the plate and starts to walk away.

Jane calls after him, "Hey I think you have the wrong table, we didn't order any fries."

"Yes we did Jane." I smile over at her then turn to the server "Thank you"

"Dr. Maura Isles! Did you actually order fries! Do you know how unhealthy those are?"

I can't help but laugh at her mocking me, "No silly, I ordered these are for you. I don't eat cheesy bacon fries." I smirk and take a fry off the plate.

"Well, help yourself doc" she smiles at me "and thank you for the fries. I didn't realize how hungry I was."

She digs into her fries and I just smile back at her. I try to pick up our conversation from a few minutes ago. "So why do you think Dean's not the one for you?"

"I don't know Maur. Can we just talk about something else? I just want to completely forget about everything that's happened in the last few hours. Distract me. Tell me more about my new pet."

I perk up at the mention of the tortoise. I start rambling off random facts that I'm pretty sure Jane doesn't even hear. She eats her fries and every once in a while she looks over at me and smiles. She picks up a fry and as she moves it to her mouth some cheese slides off and lands on her chest. My mind immediately wonders what it would be like to lean across the table and lick the cheese off her chest. I could run my tongue up from her chest and over her neck. I could travel up her jaw line and nibble on her earlobe. Ok, ok whoa. Those are not best friend thoughts. Where did that come from?! I push the thought away, but I still can't take my eyes off that damn drop of cheese.

"Maur…Maur!" I snap out of my trance and can't help the blush that shows up on my cheeks.

"Hmm, what did you say Jane?"

"Nothing. You umm, you just stopped talking and your eyes kinda glazed over. Are you ok?" she looks at me with genuine concern.

"Me, what no, I'm fine." There is a lull in our conversation. We sit in silence for a few minutes, but not the uncomfortable kind. She finishes her fries and beer. She nervously looks over at me. She starts to say something, but then stops herself.

"Jane, just tell me." I smile at her as sweetly as possible.

"Ok, well umm so you know my apartment is trashed."

"Yes, I did know that."

"Well uh would it be ok with you if I umm…."

"Jane, would you like to come spend the night at my house." I could see how much she was struggling and I knew what she was trying to ask so I just did it for her.

"Yeah, I mean, if that's ok with you. I kinda don't wanna be alone. I guess I could go to Ma's or Frankie's but I just…"

"Jane, its fine. I'd love to have you in my home. We can go back by your apartment and pick up Jo and your new tortoise. You can grab a change of clothes if you want. I washed your clothes from the other night, but you can grab more if you need them. Do you wanna follow me in your car or did you wanna ride with me?"

"You can head home and I'll run by my place and I'll be over at your house shortly. I just wanna straighten my place up a little."

"Jane, I'm not letting you clean all that up by yourself. Let's just get your pets and then go to my house and get a good night's rest. We can go back to your place tomorrow and clean it up together."

"Ok, ok doc whatever you say."

I pay our tab and we head back over to Jane's. She changes into some comfy clothes and we pick up her pets. We walk back out to my car and I drive us over to my house. We stay quiet during the drive, and as soon as we get to my house Jane looks over at me. I can't exactly decipher the look on her face. She looks so worn down. I smile at her and briefly squeeze her hand before I open my door and get out of the car. I carry her tortoise terrarium inside and she grabs Jo and her backpack.

"The guest room is ready for you, or if you want we can hang out and watch a movie or something." I say

"Naw, I'm really tired. Its been the longest day ever and I just wanna crash."

"Ok…Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're ok. I was really worried about you tonight."

"Thanks." We lock eyes for a longer than usual amount of time before she breaks the eye contact. "Goodnight Maur."

"Goodnight Jane"

We go into our separate bedrooms and I walk into my en suite bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth. I put my clothes in the hamper and throw on one of Jane's Boston PD shirts that she seems to always leave at my house. I lay down in my queen size bed, but I can't fall asleep. I toss and turn and I'm about to give up and just head downstairs when I hear a soft knock on my door. I freeze for a minute before I remember that Jane is here.

"Come in."

The door opens and Jane comes in. She's wearing a white tank top and some short black sleep shorts. When she walks further into the room I get a good look at her face. Her eyes are red and puffy and her face is unusually pale. Worried, I sit up and scoot to the side of the bed closest to where she's standing.

"Jane, sweetie, what's wrong?"

She walks further in the room until she's standing right in front of me. I grab her hand. I look up at her face, but she's not meeting my eyes. She looks down at our joined hands.

"You're the only person I let do that." she says to me. She still won't look at me.

I offer her a weak smile. "I know that, and I'm grateful that you let me. Your hands are beautiful and strong. Your scars are a part of you and you don't have to be embarrassed or uncomfortable with me."

She finally looks up at me. She looks calmer now. "I know…umm I couldn't fall asleep. Every time I close my eyes I just see him standing over me…Maura could I umm, nevermind."

She turns and tries to pull her hand out of mine, but I won't let go. "Jane, Jane look at me." She looks into my eyes. She looks so sad. I don't want her to be sad anymore. I scoot over to the middle of the bed and pull the covers back.

"Lay down Jane. I'll stay awake and talk to you until you're asleep. That way, you'll know you're not alone and he's not here." She immediately lays down next to me. I pull our covers back up over us, and I unconsciously reach for her hand. She grips my hand tightly. I hum one of my favorite arias for her and run my thumb over the back of her hand. I hear her breathing even out and I know she's asleep now. I bring her hand up to my lips and place a tender kiss over her scar. I keep her hand firmly in mine and my last thought before I drift off to sleep is how, even though I wish the circumstances were different, it feels perfect to have her here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sooo I've had some encouragement to keep this story going, so I've decided to continue. I know this is my second update in less than 48 hours, but don't expect that all the time. I am a full time student and I work full time, but I'll try to update at least twice a month. Thanks for the feedback from chapter 1. Keep it coming because I'd like for my writing to improve as much as possible.**

I wake up completely rested and comfortable. I feel the sun on my face, but that wasn't the only thing that made me feel warm. I open my eyes to discover a steadily rising and falling chest beneath my head. I guess we had shifted our positions sometime during the night. My head is on her chest and one of her arms is wrapped securely around me while the other is holding my arm that was thrown across her stomach. I don't think I had ever felt this at peace in my entire life. This surprised me considering the total shit day that I had yesterday.

Last time I encountered Hoyt, I wasn't able to sleep all the way through the night for weeks. I was in the hospital heavily sedated the first few days and then I had gone home with Ma for a week. As much as I love her, my Ma isn't exactly known for creating a peaceful, calming environment. I had nightmares every night for the first month. I still have them regularly. Every time I have one I wake up crying and terrified. Most of the time I can't get back to sleep so I just stay awake and end up being exhausted at work. To say that waking up cuddled up with my best friend is better would be an understatement. I sigh. As much as I would love to stay here, I know I can't. I love the feeling of Maura's arms around me, but I don't want her to wake up with me half on top of her and get weirded out. I'd never been attracted to another woman before, but I finally admitted to myself a couple of weeks ago that not only was I attracted to a woman, but I was in love with my best friend.

_She was standing over a body in the morgue. He was a fifteen year old that had been shot during an armed robbery at a convenience store. He had tried to tackle the robber when he pulled a gun on the cashier and it had cost him his life. I think she thought she was alone. She had closed up her Y incision and gently placed her gloved hand on the kid's shoulder. She had the most compassionate look on her face. She slowly covered his face with the sheet, removed her gloves, and then turned around. I think sometimes other people think her work doesn't affect her. They see the professional, composed and cold Dr. Isles, but when she turned around I saw tears in her beautiful hazel eyes. She's not cold, far from it. She cares deeply about the innocent people who end up on her autopsy table. I feel beyond privileged that I get to see this part of her. The part that no one else sees. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked straight into mine. "You're going to solve this case, right? He deserves that." I walked up to her and placed my hand on her arm,"I will do everything in my power to make sure he gets the justice he deserves." I pulled her into a hug. She inhaled a deep, calming breath as she hugged me back. I knew right that second that I wanted to be the arms she found comfort in for the rest of her life. I want to share in her joy. I want to take away her pain. I want to protect her. Hold her. Love her._

I reluctantly ease out of our embrace and slide out of bed. I look back at her sleeping form one more time before I start to make my way out of her room. I just now noticed that she's wearing my shirt. For some reason this makes me smile like an idiot. I ease open her door and slip out of the room. I take Jo out for her morning walk. We come back inside and I walk over to the guest bathroom and take a quick shower. I let my mind wander. I should still be an emotional mess after yesterday, but since the second I laid down next to Maura last night and felt her hold my hand, I've felt nothing but peace. I get dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and head to the kitchen. I had planned to fix myself a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee, but when I get there Maura's standing over the stove. I see two plates with pancakes and eggs, and as she turns from the stove she adds some bacon to each plate. She looks absolutely adorable. She's still wearing my Boston PD shirt and some black silk pajama shorts. She looks up at me and flashes me a brilliant smile. God, that smile! Her smile is always bright enough to light up even my darkest moods. I also notice she's not wearing any makeup. It was dark in her room last night so I didn't get a good look at her, but now in the light of day I can see she's even more gorgeous than I thought with her freshly rested morning face.  
>"Good Morning Jane. I heard you in the shower, and I figured you'd be hungry so I made us some breakfast."<p>

"Thanks, umm I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"No, no it was time for me to get up anyway...we've got a lot of work to do over at your place anyway."

"Maur, you don't have to clean up my place with me. I could probably call my Ma and she could have it all cleaned up in the blink of an eye."

"I highly doubt that Jane. The average blink only lasts approximately 300 milliseconds."

I can't help but laugh a little. "Thank you for that very valuable information Google mouth, 'In the blink of an eye' is an expression."

"Oh" she tilts her head sideways "whatever."

I laugh as she passes me a fresh cup of coffee, and we sit down at the bar in her kitchen to eat. We finish our breakfast, and I insist on washing up our dishes so that Maura can take a shower. A little over half an hour later, she comes downstairs with her flawlessly done hair and make up, in what I presume are her "work clothes". She's wearing some red skinny jeans and a fitted white button up with the sleeves rolled up. I look down at her feet and to my surprise she's got on a pair of flats. I don't know that I've ever seen her in anything but heels except for when we're in the gym or at yoga. I think I really like dressed down Maura. We get in her car and head back over to my place. We make our way up to my apartment and I hear yelling. Maura looks uncertain, but I know that voice. I sigh and open the door.

"Frankie, take they out to the garbage chute right now. I want this place perfect for Janie when she gets home!"

"Ma, I got it...geez" Frankie says as he nearly runs in to Maura and me. "Janie, hey! You're home. Hey Dr. Isles."

"Janie, Maura, hello girls! Oh Janie I was so worried about you last night. I wanted to come over here and check on you, but Frankie says he saw you leave the bar last night with Maura, so I knew you'd be taken care of." I don't know why, but blush a little at her comment.

I look over at Maura and smile, "Yes Ma, Maura took excellent care of me. She's the best friend ever." Maura locks eyes with me and smiles back.

We all get to work cleaning up my place. Ma's fighting with Frankie in the kitchen and Maura and I start on the living room. It takes us a couple of hours, but we finally get it all cleaned up. Ma gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and then she and Frankie both head home. Maura stays with me for a while. I grab a beer for myself and pour her a glass of wine. We just chill on the couch and watch some mindless TV for a while.

"Hey, do wanna order a pizza and stay a little while longer?" I really hope she's says yes. I don't think I'm ready to be alone just yet.

"I'll only stay for pizza, if you agree to let me fix you a salad to go with it."

"Maura", I whine, "why do you have to spoil a perfectly good meal with rabbit food!"

She stares me down. "Fine, I'll eat a damn salad. Can I order my pizza now?"

She smirks at me, "Yes, a feta cheese, spinach, and roasted tomato pizza sounds lovely."

"You're kidding, right? If you're forcing me to eat a salad, then I'm getting pepperoni and bacon on my pizza."

She looks over at me "Fine", she says in her Dr. Isles voice," I'll allow it this time Jane, but I expect you to eat your salad without complaining."

"Yes ma'am",I say with a little mock salute. "Good luck finding stuff to make a salad in my kitchen", I laugh.

"I happen to know that your mother stocked your fridge when she got here" she says victoriously. I groan and pick up the phone and order my pizza while Maura goes into the kitchen. I finish my order and decide I want another beer. I walk over to my kitchen. Maura is leaning over looking through the fridge and my eyes are instantly glued to her ass. I don't remember when exactly I started checking her out. I mean, I've always thought she was beautiful, but now looking at her sends a tingly feeling below my belly button. I keep looking and lick my lips. I'm not really an expert on women's asses, but I think hers would have to be one of the best. She turns around and I blush and quickly avert my eyes. I don't know if she caught me checking her out or not. I almost told her how I felt about her last night at the bar, but that server interrupted me right as it was about to come out. Last night I was still emotional from my encounter with Hoyt. When I thought I was gonna die, all I could think about was Maura. I thought about how much I love her and how much I wish I had told her. Soon I tell myself, I'll tell her soon. I have to.


	3. Chapter 3

_**I plan to take ideas from the show, but with my own twist. I may not use the episode ideas in order though. I am so honored to have had 40+ followers after only 2 chapters into my first story ever! I love the feedback I've gotten from this story & I hope I can do it justice. Thank you to all my followers and reviewers **__** Keep the reviews coming.**_

It's been weeks since Jane encountered Hoyt, but she's still sleeping in my bed, not that I mind. We weren't close friends last time she encountered him, so I don't know what it was like before. She only has nightmares when she tries to sleep in the guest bedroom all alone, but as soon as she comes into my room she sleeps through the night with no problems. I like to think that I have something to do with that, but maybe she just doesn't want to be alone. Maybe it could be anybody that loves her. Maybe it could be Angela or Frankie sleeping on the couch at her apartment. But sometimes I think that maybe it's me. I've woken up with her wrapped around me almost every morning for the last month. It's been the best month of my life. Most mornings I go back to sleep, and then when I wake up again, Jane is already up. I think waking up next to me must freak her out. I never bring it up, and neither does she.

I think I love her. Actually I know that I love her, only now I think I've realized that I love her in a different kind of way than I loved her before. I've had sexual partners and boyfriends before, but the way I feel about Jane...I've never felt this way about anyone else in my entire life. I love having her be the last thing I see every night and the first thing I see every morning. I love preparing and sharing breakfast with her every morning. I love meeting her for lunch in the café. I love working cases together. I love getting drinks together at the Dirty Robber. I love our movie nights and late night talks. I love how; when she falls asleep in my bed, she always reaches out for me. As much as I want her to be able to move past what happened with Hoyt, at the same time it makes me sad. I know once she moves past it, she'll go back to the guest bedroom, or her own apartment. I don't want to go back to sleeping without her right next to me. Speaking of which, I don't think I can go back to sleep this morning. I look over at the gorgeous woman next to me and I can't help but smile. I may as well get up and start my morning. I give her a kiss on the forehead and slip out of her arms. I make my way into my en suite to use the restroom. Once I finish, I decide I'll go get started on our breakfast. I walk out of my bathroom and see Jane still asleep in my bed. I can't recall having ever seen anything more beautiful. I don't know how long I stand there and watch her, but I know it's longer than I probably should. I sigh and make my way down to the kitchen. I've already freshly squeezed us some orange juice, made our coffee, and I'm halfway through fixing our omelets when I hear Jane coming down the stairs.

"Good morning Jane" I say with a smile. "How did you sleep?"

Her response is an incoherent grumble. That surprises me. I know she didn't have any nightmares. She didn't sleep in a different position from all of the other nights that she's been in my bed. I look over at her and see her frowning.

"I'm so sorry you didn't sleep well. The coffee is ready if you'd like some. Our egg white omelets are almost finished."

"Thanks" she says in the most unenthusiastic voice I've ever heard.

"Hey, after breakfast, how would you feel about coming to yoga with me?"

"Really, Maur? When have I ever _wanted_ to go to yoga?

I can't help the pout that forms on my face. Jane rarely refuses to spend time with me.

She looks up and sees the expression on my face. "I'm sorry Maur. I didn't sleep very well last night…we can go to yoga."

"Jane, you don't have to go with me if you don't want to. Actually if you're busy or uninterested then I can just go on my own. I don't want you to feel obligated to"

Jane interrupts me, "Maura, I'd love to go to yoga with you."

I smile "Really?"

"Yes, now where's my omelet woman?" She smiles, and I mean really smiles, dimples and all.

* * *

><p>I'm having a really hard time keeping my eyes off Jane. Why is she not wearing a shirt? Her standing right next to me in just yoga pants and a sports bra is torture. It's taking every ounce of my focus not to reach out and touch her perfectly chiseled abs.<p>

"This hurts!"

"Pain is only in the mind", I respond.

"Feels like my leg", Jane says as the instructor comes over to my mat to adjust me. He sets me and I notice that Jorge is staring at Jane. I want her to be happy, and I want to believe that the only time she's ever happy, is with me. I decide to perform my own little experiment to test this hypothesis.

"My mind has a cramp" she whispers.

I decide then and there to set her up. "You see the guy that's staring at you, he just broke up with his girlfriend" I say.

"Really?" Jane asks with slightly more enthusiasm than I'd like.

The yoga instructor has already asked me out several times so I suggest a double date idea to Jane. She immediately says no. I somehow manage to keep face from smiling at her refusal. I know she thinks Jorge is hot. If Jane doesn't want to go out with him, then she just _has_ to be interested in somebody, right? What if it's me? I decide to push her and see if she'll actually go out with somebody else. If the date goes well, then I'll keep my feelings about her to myself, but if it goes poorly, it might just make Jane realize how much she enjoys my company. Urgh! I wish I knew how to figure out if Jane felt about me like I feel about her without all these ridiculous set ups. I really don't want to watch her on a date with someone else, but right now this is the only idea I've got.

* * *

><p>Hearing Jane upset with me this morning about my convincing her to take Jorge home last night was like music to my ears.<p>

I hate that someone had to die, but our current case couldn't have come at a better time. Frost and Korsak want Jane to go undercover as a lesbian. I couldn't ask for a better opportunity to gauge Jane's reaction at considering a same sex relationship. I help Frost and Korsak fill out Jane's online dating profile and then head to her apartment for dinner.

We finish eating and then pour ourselves each a glass of wine. I love that Jane keeps wine here for me. The first time I came over she had beer and hard liquor here, but now she almost always has at least one red and one white here and I know she does it just for me. We walk into her bedroom and as we sit down on the bed Jane totally catches me off guard.

"Maybe I should just be a lesbian."

"Aww well wishes can come true" oh God, I did not just say that. Quick Maura, say something! "Frost and Korsak wanted to fill out your dating profile, I typed." Nice recovery Maura. Blame it in the men.

We check out some of the women who have expressed interest in meeting Jane. She's insisting I go undercover with her. I feign protest, but I actually have no objection whatsoever to going undercover with Jane at a lesbian bar. She doesn't seem to upset by the whole situation so I decide to delve a little deeper.

"I wonder what kind of women we would like if we liked women?"

"What?!" Oh no, she's totally going to freak out on me. What have I done? "Well first of all, I would be the guy."

Whew! Ok, for someone who is known for thinking everything through I've have slipped up way too many times tonight. If I want to keep a lid on everything that's been going on in my mind, it would probably be best if we go to sleep soon.

The next morning I try to find Jane something sexy to wear for our undercover op, but with no luck. I try to convince her to wear something of mine, but all she does is make fun of me. It's ok though. She'll look amazing no matter what she wears. I on the other hand, know exactly what I'm going to wear. The servers at the Merch wear the hottest outfits. High heels, sheer black tights, short plaid skirts and corset tops. If Jane was ever going to check me out, this is the perfect outfit.

"Your tables ready miss."

"Oh my ga, put this on" she says as she tries to hand me her jacket. Trying to protect my modesty, that's got to mean something, right?

"No, I'm undercover. Follow me." I say with a smirk as I turn to lead her to her table.

"Oh my God" she whines. I don't think she likes me being all exposed.

I watch her with her first "date" of the evening. She looks bored out of her mind. I make sure that the girl has finished most of her drink, so that she's likely left some DNA on her glass before I make my way over to their table. "Ladies, may I get you something to drink" I say as seductively as possible as I lean over Jane's shoulder to collect the other woman's glass. I look up to see Jane's eyes glued to my chest. She tears her eyes away from my chest and meets my gaze for just a moment. She quickly turns back to her date. "No, we're good. Right, Miranda?" I can't help but smile and sway my hips as I walk away. Point Doctor Isles.

I watch her go on countless "dates", collect all the glasses, and then we head back to my house together.

"Oh. My. God. That was the most exhausting night of my entire life!" Jane groans.

"Really? I found it exhilarating. I love undercover work."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to talk to all those ridiculously desperate women."

No, but I had fight the urge to vomit watching you flirt with all those girls I think to myself. "Hey I'm going to heat up some of that pasta that I made for us the other night. Would you like some?" I ask.

"Sure, but I think I gonna go shower while you do that. All those weirdos I had to talk to tonight made me feel dirty. I'll be right back out."

"Ok Jane. I'll have it ready in about fifteen minutes. Will that work for you?"

"Yeah, that's perfect." She gives me a smile and heads turns towards the guest room. She hesitates and turns back around to face me. "Hey Maur, when I get back, can we talk about something?" She asks nervously.

"Yeah, sure, no problem…Jane, are you alright?" I ask.

"I will be. Just let me wash this awful night off and I'll be right back." She turns towards the guest room and my mind goes into overdrive. If she wanted to talk about our case, then she wouldn't be nervous, would she? What has her so worked up? What if I've pushed her too far the last couple of days? What if she's figured out how I feel about her? Will she still be my friend? Wait…what if she loves me too? Why would she be here in my house if she's freaked out by me? Ok Doctor Isles, calm down. Heat up our pasta and stop jumping to conclusions. I'll know what Jane wanted to talk about soon enough. Thirteen minutes, Jane will be back in thirteen minutes, and then I'll know.


	4. Chapter 4

As I stand under the hot water, I try to figure out exactly what I'm gonna say to Maura. How do you tell your best friend that you love her? That you love her, not in a best friend kind of way, but in a "falling asleep with you in my arms is the best part of my day" kind of way. I just let the water run over me. Why is this so hard!? I mean, I spend my days chasing criminals, murderers no less, and yet I'm terrified of the fair, delicate woman in the next room! Why did I tell her I wanted to talk to her & why did I have to sound all nervous? Now I can't just go out there and enjoy her company. Now she's gonna expect some big conversation to take place. I really don't want to lose her. Urgh! Up until a couple of mornings ago everything was fine. I was still too much of a chicken to tell her how I felt, but there was nothing weird going on between us like there is now.

Why did she have to wake up before me that day? I've slept in her bed for weeks now, but I had always managed to get up before her so I wouldn't get caught holding her. She acted normal at breakfast and talked me into going to freakin yoga class. She kept looking at me all weird and then kept trying to talk me into dating that Jorge guy. Then she got all flirty with the instructor. He came over to her mat to "correct" her already perfect form and he put his hands all over her waist. I wanted to punch that guy in the face. Maura's mine, I mean not really mine, but she's definitely not his.

Luckily, or not in our victim's case, we got called away to a murder scene. Frost noticed our clothes and teased me about yoga. He was looking back and forth between me & Maura with a smug little grin on his face. Like he knows that I only go to yoga for the extra time with Maura, which is true, but still. I kinda wanted to punch Frost in the face now too. Maura spent the rest of the day practically forcing the double date thing on me. Then once on said date she was extra flirty with the yoga guy and kept insisting I take Jorge home with me. The only reason I could think of for her doing that was that she freaked out when she woke up and I was wrapped around her and she was trying to figure out a way to get me out of her bed for good. I really didn't want to think about what Maura did with her date after Jorge and I left. I was miserable that night and I barely slept. I don't know if I can go back to sleeping without Maura.

Luckily, I talked her into coming to my apartment for dinner last night and she fell asleep in my bed. I was glad Jo had jumped up on the bed between us. That way there was a barrier to keep me on my side of the bed. As much as I wanted to hold her, I didn't want to freak her out again. We had gotten up, Maura had made fun of my clothes and we made our way to the station. She tried to talk me into wearing one of her tiny little dresses for our UC operation, but I declined. The pout on her face was adorable. And what was up with Korsak saying the way Maura dressed was sexy? I mentally added him to the list of people I wanted to punch in the face.

We both went to our own homes to get ready & we arrived at the club separately. I had absolutely no idea she would be dressed the way she was! How in the hell was I supposed to concentrate on our case with her standing in front of me looking so freakin hot! I tried to get her to take my jacket but she wouldn't do it. She was swaying her hips that much just to torture me, I'm sure of it. She showed me to my table and I decided that if I had any chance whatsoever of doing my job tonight, I needed to sit with my back to the bar. If she was going to be coming and going from my table to the bar dressed like that, then I needed to be facing away from her.

My first "date" showed up a couple of minutes later. The girl was totally ridiculous. Who comes out to their parents over an answering machine? Then the thought occurred to me, if Maura ever did want to be with me, how would I tell Ma? She's so...Catholic. I'd have to figure that out later. I know my date had just asked me a question, but before I could answer her, I felt someone standing right up against my shoulder. I turned my head and _Oh. My. God. Boobs. Boobs right in my face! Maura's boobs right in my face!_ It took every ounce of strength and focus in my body to look up at her face. I knew she had caught me. She just smiled and leaned over me to pick up my "date's" glass. Her chest pressed into my back and I'm pretty sure I died for a few seconds. I knew then that this was gonna be a long night.  
>After the rest of my "dates" were over, I went and talked to the club owner. Maura had changed back into her own clothes and went to turn her server outfit in. She still looked beautiful but at least now I could remember enough words to be able to speak in full sentences while in her presence. She asked me if I was planning on staying at her place tonight. I asked her if she minded. I know I've been staying with her for weeks, and I don't want wear out my welcome. She assured me that it was fine, and then she gave me that breathtaking smile of hers. I was relieved. The thought of going back to my apartment alone was very unappealing.<p>

We had both driven our own cars, so I just followed her back to her house. She opened the front door and went in ahead of me. While I put my gun and badge on the table by the door, she went to the fridge and got a strawberry for Bass. Then she walked over to the little treat jar that she had bought and filled with treats for Jo and got one out. Right in that moment I realized that this was exactly how I wanted every night of my life to be. I wanted to come home from work with Maura. Her home felt more like my home than my own apartment anyway. I wanted to eat dinner together, take care of our pets, and fall asleep together. If I was ever gonna get a shot at that life, I was gonna have to tell her how I felt.

I've been in this shower way longer than 15 minutes. I turn the water off and get out. I grab a towel, dry off and throw on my T-shirt and sweats. I walk across the room and put my hand on the door handle. _Come on Rizzoli, you can do this. Ok, open the door...you have to open the door. Dammit Rizzoli get your shit together._ I manage to get the door open and walk back to the kitchen. Maura isn't in there though. I look over to the living room and see her sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in her hand. I notice that she's got the TV turned on. Is she watching Sports Center? I make my way into the room and see that she's got plates for both of us and a beer for me on the coffee table. She's sitting in the middle of the couch. I walk around and sit down right next to her.

"Maur, are you watching Sports Center?"

"Yes. I know its been a long day for you and I didn't want to bore you with one of my documentaries."

"Your documentaries aren't that bad."

"Then why do you groan and start making those obnoxious fake snoring noises every time I turn one on?"

"I…umm…ok I only did the fake snoring when you tried to make me watch that one about the mating habits of beetles. That one was totally ridiculous Maura."

"Fair enough." she laughs. "Why don't we go ahead and eat. I'm sorry if it's a little cold now. You umm…took a little longer than I expected."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I've just got a lot on my mind tonight."

"Are you alright? We can talk first if you'd like."

"No, no lets eat first. I'm starving!"

"You don't appear to be suffering from long periods of malnutrition, and I saw you eat an entire bowl of peanuts at the bar. I think you meant to say that you are hungry, not starving."

I smile and shake my head. She is ridiculous…and adorable. Ridiculously adorable. We both pick up our plates and start eating. I can feel her watching me, but I keep my eyes glued to the TV. I finish before she does and get up to take my plate to the sink. I pick up her empty wine glass.

"Would you like some more?"

"I can get it Jane."

"No, I got it. You've been serving me drinks all night." I give her a smile and a wink. "I'll be right back."

"Thank you."

I walk into the kitchen, rinse my plate and put it in the dishwasher. I throw my empty bottle into the recycling and walk over to the fridge. I grab myself another beer and refill Maura's glass. I walk back over to the couch and notice that Maura has finished eating and she's turned the TV off. _Oh God. She's ready for our talk now._ I wonder if I could sneak out. _No, Jane it's now or never._ I hand her the wine glass and sit back down next to her. I take a long sip from my beer. She's watching me again. I set the bottle down and turn to face her. I take a deep breath.

"Jane, you know you can tell me anything right? You don't have to tell me anything you're uncomfortable telling me, but I'm here for you."

I take a deep breath. I know we've been sitting here in silence for too long. It's getting awkward now. I have to say something.

"How was the rest of your date the other night?" _Really Rizzoli? What the hell is wrong with you?_

She looks at me like I've lost my mind. Maybe I have.

"Umm well, he drove me home and walked me to the door. I told him I was tired so he left and I came in and got ready for bed…was this what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"No…I'm stalling…still stalling."

She smiles over at me and takes my hand in hers and rubs her thumb across the back of my hand. How can she make my heart beat faster and calm me down at the same time?

"Jane, whatever you have to say won't change how I feel about you. You're the best friend I've ever had. I think you probably know and understand me more than anyone I've ever known. Whatever you have to say, just say it."

I look into her eyes and take one last deep breath.

"Maura, I love you." Her thumb stops moving on my hand and she just stares at me. _Quick Rizzoli, take it back, run out the back door. You've scared her. You've ruined your life. She's never going to want to see you again._ I try to take my hand out of hers and get up off the couch. She pulls me back down next to her.

She smiles at me, "I love you too Jane." Ok clearly she misunderstood me. She obviously thinks this was a friendly I love you.

"No, Maura. I don't mean I love you like a friend. I mean that I'm in love with you. You're pretty much my every thought" she's doing the staring thing again "and now I've probably scared you so…umm…yeah I'm gonna go." I try to get up to leave again.

"Jane, quit trying to run away from me. I know what you meant when you said 'I love you' and I meant what I said in response to you. I love you too. I'm in love with you too."

"Wait, what?" There is no way that Maura Isles loves me the way I love her. There has to be some kind of misunderstanding going on here. And why won't she give me my hand back? I need to leave and I'd really like to take my hand with me. I stand up again. Why is she still smiling at me? She stands up with me. Why is she bringing her hand up to my face? Why is she pulling me towards her?

"Jane, I. Love. You."

I'm pretty sure I've stopped breathing. She leans in closer and then her lips ghost over mine in the softest kiss I've ever felt. Realization sets in, Oh my God, Maura loves me too! If this is all a dream, I'm gonna be so pissed when I wake up.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank all of you for the reviews and follows! It's encouraging to think anybody would want to read anything I wrote. I know it's been a couple of weeks since I last posted, but I've had a TON of schoolwork lately. Anyway, if you like this chapter let me know. If you don't like it…keep it to yourself. Just kidding let me know so I can try harder next time._

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><p>"Ok, so you do know that what I just told you means that I want to spend all of my free time with you, take you out to dinner, and fall asleep with you in my arms, right?"<p>

"Of course I know that Jane… also, we already do all of those things anyway." I say with a smirk.

"Oh…yeah…right…so you're good with that then?"

"Obviously."

"Even the falling asleep together thing…Y-you're totally ok with that?" Her uncertainty is adorable. She pretends to be a badass, but she is such a softy.

"I am. It's one of my most favorite things in the world. I'd actually be perfectly willing to add a few other activities to that list of yours" I say with a smirk as I try to pull her body closer to mine.

"Hold up, so you've known about the cuddling this whole time. I kept trying to make sure that I was up before you every morning so you wouldn't find out. Do you know how much sleep I've missed in the last month?" she whines.

"I would estimate you've missed approximately 8 hours of sleep in the last several weeks given that you've only been waking up around 15 minutes earlier than your normal time." We smile at each other. I pull her closer to me and just as our lips are about to touch…

"Wait, why did you make me go out with male nurse Jorge? That was awful!"

"You really want to talk about him right now?"

"I'm sorry Maur, I-I'm just having a hard time believing that you could possibly love me" she says quietly. "You're so beautiful and kind and generous and adorable and seriously, you are the most brilliant person I've ever met. I'm stubborn, cranky and rude and I just-I just don't understand how you could love me."

"Jane, of course I love you!" I wish I could make her understand. "Before you came into my life, I had no idea what it felt like to be truly and completely loved. Most of the people in my life merely put up with my quirks and eccentricities, but you embrace them. You never make me feel like I'm weird, or an outsider. Other people in my life have used me for my brain or my looks or my money, but you make me feel cherished and special. You never belittle me or dismiss my thoughts or feelings. You always put others first. You are a fierce protector. I always feel safe when I'm with you. " I can't stop the tears forming in my eyes. "Jane you are the best and most important person in my whole world. You have my heart…not my literal heart because then I'd be dead, but my metaphorical heart. Jane Rizzoli, I Love You!"

I've barely finished my speech, when I feel Jane's lips crashing into mine. She's so soft and fierce all at the same time. How is that even possible? But in a way, it makes perfect sense. Soft and fierce are probably the two best words to describe Jane. Everybody gets to see the fierce part, but I love that her softer side is for me only. As we move our mouths together, I can feel Jane's arms around my waist pulling me impossibly closer to her body. I run my own hands up the back of her neck and up into her wild raven hair. This is far better than I could have possibly imagined. I start getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen, and I begrudgingly pull back from Jane's lips. Jane keeps her hold on me and our faces are only inches apart.

"Wow…I never thought…wow. Wait what about you? Was that…"

"It was 'wow' for me too Jane" I'm pretty sure the smile on my face will be a permanent feature from now on. "Why don't we go to bed?" I say while running my fingers through her hair. Jane immediately tenses up when I say this.

"What's wrong?" She eases out of my embrace and refuses to look at me. I wrack my brain trying to think of what could have possibly happened in the last few seconds to cause her to behave this way. Did I say something? Is she having second thoughts about her feelings? She has her back turned towards me and she mumbles something I can't quite make out.

"What was that?"

"Umm…I…Maura I-I haven't had sex in a really long time and I just don't think I'm ready for that and…I…umm…I've never been with a woman before. I don't want you to be disappointed" the last part comes out as a whisper.

"Jane" I say as I cautiously turn her around to face me. "You don't have to worry about any of that. I love you, and you love me, right?"

"I really, _really_ do." She lets me wrap my arm around her, and I bring my other hand up to cup her face.

"Ok, then when the time for that comes, I believe with certainty that it will be perfect. We don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with. Ok?" She finally looks into my eyes and gives me a tentative smile and nods her head. I lean in and give her a soft kiss. "Actually, when I said let's go to bed, I really meant I think we should try to get some sleep. It's after 3am and we have to be in at the station at 9am so we should probably rest."

Jane went to the guest bathroom to grab her toothbrush and then I led her up to my bedroom by the hand. We've been going to bed together for a while now, but it's infinitely better to be able to hold her hand and touch her without worrying about her panicking. She spooks so easily when it comes to emotional or romantic stuff. That's why I waited out her confession about her feelings for me. I knew I loved her and I was fairly certain she loved me too, but I was so worried that if I said it first she would bolt. We walk into the bedroom and make our way into my en suite. I start taking off my make up while Jane picks up the toothpaste. I bend down to the sink to rinse my face and feel two strong arms wrap around my waist. I pick up my towel and stand back up then lean back into the embrace. I dab my face with the towel and look in the mirror to see Jane staring at me.

"You're really beautiful, you know that? I mean, your hair and make up always looks perfect. You always have on the best clothes, but seeing you without your make up on, in my BPD t-shirt, you're the most beautiful woman on the planet."

I blush at her compliment. She is such a sweet talker. "Jane there is no way you can know that with certainty. Beauty is subjective. I happen to find you absolutely stunning. While I can't say with certainty that you're the most beautiful woman on the planet, because again beauty is subjective, I can say with certainty that you are by far the most beautiful woman I have ever encountered."

She turns her head towards me and places a soft kiss onto my neck. She doesn't deepen the kiss or even move. She just stands there with her lips pressed to my neck for several seconds. I can feel her arms tightening around my waist. I turn around in her arms and wrap my own arms around the back of her neck. We look into each other's eyes and I find it hard to comprehend that someone could express so much in a mere look. I lean in for a kiss and she meets me halfway. This kiss is different from the passionate, lust filled kiss from earlier. This kiss is still intense and expressive, but it's also soft, gentle, and tender. For the first time in my life, I think I know how love is supposed to feel. We don't run our hands all over one another like before, and the kiss stays slow and sweet. She pulls her lips back, but keeps our foreheads pressed together.

"This has been the most wonderful night of my life. I love you so much Maur, and to know that you love me too...I just-I don't think my life could be any more perfect right now…You really love me?"

"More than anyone else I've ever known" I kiss her cheek "Come on, let's get some sleep."

We make our way back into the bedroom. Jane goes to turn off the light, while I turn down the blankets and climb into bed. She makes her way over to the bed. I have my arms open and waiting for her. She climbs into bed next to me, and I wrap my arms around her. Being able to hold Jane is the best feeling in the entire world! I love that we can touch each other now without having to make up excuses, or Jane waiting until I fall asleep. She wraps her arms around me too and we fall asleep while holding onto each other.

I wake up the next morning to find Jane still wrapped up in my arms. I almost expected her to try to wake up before me and sneak out of the room like she's been doing for the last month. Her confession last night made me so happy, but I can't help but think that she's going to freak out on me. She's never dated a woman, her mother is Catholic, she's fought her whole career to keep from being labeled the "dyke" cop that some of those lesser cops make her out to be. She can't change her mind though. I don't think I could go back to just being her best friend. I've never loved anyone as much as I love Jane. She's so beautiful and looks so at peace. I'm pretty sure she's only capable of this peaceful look when she's asleep. I trace her features with my fingers. Her eyes stay closed but her lips turn up into a smile.

"Good morning" she says as she opens her eyes. Her voice is even raspier first thing in the morning. It's incredibly sexy. I can't help but be a little turned on.

"Good morning to you too. I'm sorry if I woke you. You're very beautiful you know. I didn't even realize I was touching your face until you started to wake up."

"That's ok. I liked it." She leans toward me and our lips meet in a sweet kiss. "You know I'm not really a morning person, but if I get to wake up next to you every morning, I think I might become one." She kisses me again with a little more intensity. I pull back slowly. If we don't get out of this bed soon, I might not be able to control myself, and I'm determined for this relationship to move at Jane's pace. She told me last night she wasn't ready yet, and I have to respect that.

"Are you hungry? I can make us some breakfast while you take Jo for her morning walk."

"That sounds great. Can we have bacon and eggs?"

"Turkey bacon and egg whites?

"No, real bacon and eggs scrambled with cheese." She leans in and kisses me again. If she keeps kissing me like this, we're going to miss breakfast altogether. We get out of bed make our way downstairs.

"I'll make you your bacon and eggs, but we're eating something healthy for lunch."

"Deal."

We get through our morning routine and make it out the door on time, despite the frequent stops for kisses. We walk out and I see both of our cars. I forgot she followed me back here last night. I suddenly become very anxious. I'm not ready to be separated from her. What if, once alone with her thoughts, she realizes how different things are going to be between us now and she panics? What if she decides that this is all just too much?

"W-we could ride in to the station together…if you want." It's like she can read my mind.

"I'd love to" I say to her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow midterms suck! I meant to post this last week, but I've had an insane amount of stuff to do at school. I hope y'all enjoy this chapter. Reviews are appreciated, as always.**

We hold hands as I drive us to work. Maura always hates it when I listen to my loud rock music, so I leave the radio turned off and we ride in comfortable silence. I park out in front of the station and squeeze her hand before letting go and getting out of the car. I really didn't want to have to be separated from her, but we walked over to the elevators and Maura went down to the morgue while made my way up to the bull-pen. I sat down at my desk to check my e-mail. I finished reading the last one right as Frost walked through the door.

"Morning Frost."

"Goooodmorning Jane! I swung by your place last night with some beers to go over some of the more hilarious parts of your surveillance footage, but you were nowhere to be found. Did one of your lady dates actually work out?"

"Oh ha ha you are _sooo_ funny. No, none of my lady dates worked out. I spent the night at Maura's."

"And how did _that_ work out?" he says with a smirk. I know he's just teasing, but I swear he knows how I feel about her. He always gets this smug look on his face whenever I say Maura's name like he can see right through me. I decide to mess with him a little.

"Oh it was wonderful! She and I professed our undying love for one another and then spent all night having hot, dirty, wild lesbian sex."

Frost had picked the wrong time to take a sip of his drink. As soon as that came out of my mouth, he spit his coffee nearly across the room.

"What's going on in here?" Korsak asks as he enters the room.

"Nothing much, just filling Frost in on my activities last night."

"Oh yeah? Do anything interesting?"

"Hopefully solved this case. Have we got the results back from the stuff we collected last night? Maur said she was gonna push them to the top of the list & have the night techs rush the results."

"Actually I saw Maura in the café when I was coming in. She said she was gonna be up here in just a few minutes to go over what they found." Korsak says.

"What about the footage from last night? You guys see anything or anybody you think was interesting?"

"You mean did we see anything apart from the fact that you're a total lady magnet?" Frost says, prompting a laugh from Korsak and a scowl from me.

"Geez, I mean did any of those women from last night strike you as a killer?"

"That last one, what was her name? She gave me the creeps." Korsak says with a shudder.

"Yeah, she's definitely my pick for this." Frost adds.

"None of your dates last night were a match." Maura says as she walks in the bull-pen. I can't help but smile when I see her. She walks over to my desk and hands me a coffee.

We talk some more about the case and I think I know who the murderer is. I head back to the Merch and talk to the owner. She hit on me the other day so I decide to try to use that for all its worth. I really need her DNA and I can think of only one way to get it without tipping her off that that's what I'm doing. It works and I head back to the lab.

"I need you to swab my neck for DNA?"

"What? Why?"

"It's for the case. I think the club owner was the murderer so I got her DNA for comparison."

"On your neck? Why is her DNA on your neck? You couldn't just ask her for a sample?" Maura sounds a little agitated.

"No, I couldn't let her know I was getting her DNA. I don't think she was acting alone and I can't have her tipping off her accomplice. Wait, are you-are you mad her DNA is on my neck? Maura, you know I was just doing my job, right?"

"Well…I…yes, I know you were just doing your job. It's just…I haven't gotten to kiss your neck yet and now some skanky, bartender murderer did." Maura says as she stands and swabs my neck. She is so beyond cute.

"You know, I wouldn't mind you kissing my neck." I say with a smirk.

She looks around the lab and sees that we're alone. She seals the swab and puts it down on the table. She looks back over at me and puts one hand on my neck and one hand on my hip. She leans in towards me and I close my eyes. I can feel her breath on my neck. Just when I think her lips are about to make contact, she tilts her head up and whispers "Mmmm…" she blows into my ear "Maybe later, I think you should shower first."

Maura Isles is the meanest person on the face of the earth. She smiles at me and winks, then turns around and walks out of the room swaying her hips leaving me standing there trying to remember how to breathe. Once I remember how to make my legs work I start to walk mindlessly out of the room and I wind up in Maura's office. I sit down in the chair across from hers and wait for her to come in. She does a few minutes later and sits down. "Detective, can I help you with something?" she says with a little too much enthusiasm.

"No. I just couldn't remember how to get back upstairs." She immediately starts laughing at me.

"Oh, you just wait Dr. Isles, I'll get you back for this. I'll have the last laugh."

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to have dinner with me this evening?"

"Sounds good to me. You want me to pick up some pizza or how about some Chinese? I can meet you at your place around 7. I've got some extra paperwork to finish up. Oh wait, we rode in together this morning. I guess you could just take my car and I could catch a ride with Frost or Frankie."

"No Jane th-that's not what I meant. I, uh actually wanted us to go out. To a nice place. Like-like a date."

"Oh…like a date-date. Umm, yeah uh sure." I don't know why I sound so hesitant. I've wanted to be with her for a while now and we go out together all the time, but for some reason the idea of an official date scares me a little. Will this be different than all the other times we've gone out together? Do I have to dress up? What about PDA? I can't risk being seen on an obvious date with Maura until I've talked to Ma. Oh God, I have to talk to Ma about this. I know she loves me, but will she be able to accept this? Wait, I have to think about Ma later, right now Maura is looking at me and she looks like she's about to cry.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, w-we don't have to go out if you don't want to Jane. Excuse me." she says in a shaky voice as she walks out of her office.

Well shit, I totally screwed that up. I jump up to follow her out, but I knock a file off of her desk in the process. I stop to pick it up and by the time I make it out in the hall she's nowhere to be seen. I pick up my cell to call her, but I can hear her phone buzzing on her desk. Ok, I'm a detective, finding her shouldn't be a problem right? She doesn't have a car and she doesn't have her purse or phone, so she's probably still in the building. I look around the lab and the morgue first with no luck. I go check the bathroom and she's not there either. I decide to go check out the café, but as I walk towards the elevator I notice that she's returned to her office. She's standing at her desk, with her back to me. I tap on the door frame and make my presence known. She doesn't turn around right away. She takes a deep breath and then slowly turns around to face me. She still looks upset, but I think I can also see a little anger there too.

"What do you want Jane?"

"I want to go out on a date with you."

"Jane, we don't have to, it's fine. We…"

"Maura, will you look at me please?" I wait for her to make eye contact with me. "Maur, I didn't mean to sound so weird before. I absolutely want to go out on a date with you. I just got…I was…I just started thinking that, I know we go out together all the time, but this will be different. Now that I know I can hold your hand or kiss you, I really want to be able to do those things like I would on any other date, but I can't…"

I have no idea how to finish that sentence. It's not like I'm embarrassed to be with Maura. I actually don't care what anybody else thinks about us, except…I'm so scared of telling Ma. Would Maura understand that? I decide to just be totally honest with her. "Maur, I love you and I'm honored that you would even consider wanting to spend time with me, but you know how I've told you I've never been with another woman?"

She looks at me hesitantly and nods. "Ok well, I just got a little nervous about how…certain people might take seeing us out together."

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"No, it's not that. Maur, my Ma…"

"Oh, Jane" she interrupts "I didn't even think about that. I'm sorry I overreacted. I know your Mother is very religious and I didn't think about that. I didn't mean to pressure you."

"You didn't pressure me, Maura. I honestly don't care what anybody else thinks, but I don't want my Ma to hear about us from somebody else that might see us out together. I want to tell her myself…I'm just kinda nervous about it, but I definitely _will_ tell her. Just give me some time to figure out the best way to do that. Ok?"

She smiles at me. "That's completely understandable Jane. I can wait until after you talk to your mother for our first date." We smile at each other. "My offer to join me for dinner still stands though. Would you still be willing to go pick us up some Chinese and come over to my house?"

"Absolutely."

"You can keep your car though. I'll just get Suzie to give me a ride home. You'll be there around 7?"

"You know what, screw paperwork. I'll be ready to leave in about an hour?"

"Ok, I'll meet you in the lobby at 5:30 then."

I wink at her and head back upstairs. I rush through the rest of my obligations and wrap up my workday. I get off the elevator and I find Maura ready and waiting for me in the lobby. We walk out to the car and as soon as we pull away from the station she slips her hand into mine. We pick up our dinner and head back home. Wait, not home Maura's. She walks in ahead of me and greets our pets while I reach into the back seat to pick up our food and bring it in. I set the food on the counter and turn around to see Maura over by the fridge getting a beer out for me. I walk over to her and she holds the beer out for me. I take it and set it down on the counter and grab her hand. I pull her closer to me and wrap my arms around her waist. She puts her arms around me too. I nuzzle my face into her neck, and I feel a soft kiss on my own neck. I was wrong when I mentally corrected myself earlier calling this Maura's place-this is home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to everyone who's reading this story. I am amazed by the follows and reviews! I decided to go ahead and post this chapter for y'all since I've got a pretty heavy load at school this next week and I likely won't have time to work on this for the next couple of weeks. As always, please review. I gladly look forward to reading any praise or criticism you may have in order to make the story the best I can. **

**Oh, and just a little note for this chapter: I never really cared for Frank Sr. so I'm just pretending he and Angela have already divorced. I have Angela working in the café, but I don't have her living in Maura's guesthouse yet.**

It's been a week since Jane told me that she wanted to go out with me. She said she wanted to go out with me, but she just needed to figure out how to talk to her mother about us first. I completely understand her need to do that. I know she grew up in a very devout Catholic family, so this is probably difficult for her. I don't know how much longer I can wait though. Jane has already expressed her apprehension about us becoming intimate, and I know telling her family, her mother specifically, is part of why she's holding back. She's also nervous because she's never been with a woman, although I have a feeling that once it actually happens she'll be able to overcome any inhibitions she has. I, on the other hand, am more than ready. Just thinking about last night has me nearly melting in my seat.

_We had just been sitting on the couch together at my house. We were watching Shark Week. Jane decided it was the perfect compromise. I wanted to watch a documentary about the origins of forensic pathology while Jane wanted to watch the movie Jaws. She said Shark Week was perfect since she wanted to watch sharks and I wanted to watch something "science-y". It was far from being "science-y" enough to be something I'd choose myself, but Jane was happy so I was happy. She was very into the show, but I don't think I had watched more than a minute of it. I was watching her. My big, brave badass cop was flinching every time that the shark moved quickly towards the divers even though they were in a cage. I could barely hold back my laughter. Then they started showing some footage of another dive group that wasn't using a cage. One of the divers had a shark strike out at one of the divers and it latched on to his arm. Jane gasped and grabbed my thigh. That prompted me to make a gasp of my own. Jane looked over at me and she realized where her hand was and pulled it away quickly. _

_Sadly, this had become a fairly common occurrence over the last couple of days. Jane and I had done some fairly innocent touching, and hugging, and none of our kisses had been very intense after that first night when we told each other how we felt. We go to bed with each other every night, but all we do is cuddle and sleep. If I try to initiate anything at all, she would roll over to the far side of the bed, or excuse herself to the restroom. It was driving me absolutely crazy! _

_Jane had turned back to face the TV, but I was still watching her. The sensations I felt when she grabbed my thigh sent tingles to other places that I desperately desired to feel her touch. _

"_Put it back."_

"_What?"_

"_Put your hand back on my leg."_

"_Wha-why?"_

"_Well why did you pull it away so quickly? I have no problem whatsoever with you touching me…You do want to touch me, right?" she nods in affirmation." I liked it, so put your hand back on my leg…please."I say with a smirk._

_She rolls her eyes then sighs and puts her hand back, but she's back to facing the TV again. I grab her hand and intertwine our fingers. I rub my thumb across her hand slowly. She seems un-phased by this action. I unclasp our hands and put her hand palm down on my leg. I put my hand on top of hers and remain still for a little while. After a few minutes, I start stroking the back of her hand and her forearm with my fingertips. I hear her breath hitch, but her eyes remain focused on the TV screen almost a little too intensely. I stop the movement of my hand and she lets out a quiet sigh. As soon as she does this I use my hand to move hers across my thigh. I guide it slowly towards the inside of my thigh and then back out again. I'm fairly certain Jane is holding her breath. I move our hands side to side on my leg for several moments until I finally slowly start to move our hands up thigh not stopping until we're centimeters away from my center. Jane finally looks over at me, and I'm surprised by how dark her eyes have become. I keep our eyes locked as I make a move to straddle her legs. Once I'm where I want to be, I take both of her hands and place them on my hips. I put both of my own hands in her hair and I turn her head up towards me as I lower my head down to hers. Our lips meet softly at first, and my eyes close. We move our mouths gently against one another's...at first. The kiss only stays tame for a few seconds because I can't help myself and I move my tongue across her bottom lip. Jane opens her mouth to release a moan and I use that opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth. As soon as our tongues meet, Jane moves her hands from my hips around to my lower back. I slowly start to move my hips in her lap. I leave one hand in her hair holding her face against mine while I slowly trail the other hand down her neck and then down to her clavicle. After several seconds, I continue my downward motion until my hand arrives at her chest. I can feel her nipple harden under my hand as I begin to massage her breast. I feel her hands drop down to my backside. I pull my tongue out of her mouth, and move my lips down her jaw to her neck where I start placing wet kisses everywhere my lips can reach. This prompts Jane to give me a firm squeeze, and I start moving my hips faster and more firmly. Just as I start to think about how nothing has ever felt more perfect, Jane moves her hands back to my hips and stops my movements. _

"_Maur"she moans. Her voice is incredibly sexy when she's panting like this. I stop kissing her neck and start sucking on it instead. "Maur" this time it comes out more like a growl. I use my teeth to gently bite down on her neck. I can feel her hands digging into my hips. "Maur, we need…oh god…we need to stop." As she says this, she brings one hand up to the back of my head and laces her fingers in my hair as she gently pulls me back from her neck. I don't understand what she's doing at first and I make a move to kiss her again. Jane rolls me off her lap and stands up quickly. We're both breathing so fast; it takes me a minute to find my voice._

"_Why did you make me stop?" I pant. " Weren't you enjoying yourself? I certainly was enjoying what we were doing."_

"_Me too."_

"_Then why did you stop me?" _

"_I just want to do this right. You deserve to be with somebody who'll take you out and shout from the rooftops how amazing you are and I can't even manage to tell my Ma." _

"_Jane, there's no rush to tell your mother. Take all the time you need…I still don't understand though."_

"_Understand what?"_

"_Why you stopped us. I was really looking forward to where that was going."_

"_Like I said, I want to do this right. I want to take you out to a nice place, enjoy a drink or two, drive you home, and walk you to your door. I want to do all those normal date things. You deserve better than take out and Shark Week. I promise to tell Ma tomorrow and if you're still interested, I'd like to take you out Friday night."_

_I can't stop the smile creeping up on my face. She is so sweet and thoughtful, and definitely worth waiting for._

"_Actually, I'm the one who asked you out first, so I'd like to take you out Friday night."_

"_Nope, I'm the one making you wait, and besides I did tell you if I dated a woman that I'd be the guy, so I'm taking you out."_

_We stare each other down for a few more seconds before I feel the smile beginning to form on my lips."I'll allow it this time, but sometime soon I want my turn to be the guy. You're a beautiful woman and you deserve to be treated that way too, okay?"_

"_Deal" she says as she moves in to seal it with a kiss._

After that Jane went out to walk Jo Friday and I went to take a _**very**_cold shower. I feel myself shudder involuntarily in my seat. I hate being unprofessional and daydreaming at work, but I don't have anything to do in the lab right now and being stuck at my desk is painfully dull. Thinking about Jane last night has me all worked up and I desperately need a distraction. Just as I'm about to get up and walk to the lab to steal a job from one of my techs, I hear my phone buzz.

**-Hey I won't be able to meet for lunch today. I'm about to meet my Ma in the café for lunch and to talk. I figured telling her in a public place was best. It might keep her from having a melt down. **

I type out my response.

**-Are you sure you want to do this alone? You know I wouldn't mind going with you.**

**-No, no worries. I got this. I'll come down and see you after lunch. Love you.**

**-I love you too. Good luck.**

I desperately want to be there for Jane, but I know how independent she is. I know how protective she is too, and I wonder if she's trying to shield me from the situation in case Angela responds unfavorably to the news. I make my way over to the lab when my phone buzzes again. I answer, and I'm informed of a fresh body found. I make my way to the crime scene and find out that the case hasn't been assigned to Jane. I get to work and make my primary assessments. By the time the body makes it back to the morgue its nearing the end of my work day, and I realize that I never heard from Jane after lunch. I collect some trace evidence, but decide to push the autopsy to tomorrow. I pull my phone back out and call Jane. I don't get an answer. I decide to call it a day and I gather my things to leave. I glance in the café on my way out to see if Angela is still there, but I don't see her. I walk in and ask if she's still there, but I'm informed that she never came back after her lunch break. I call Jane again as I pull away from the station. Her phone goes straight to voice mail. I leave her a message asking her to call me. I send her a text as well saying the same thing, just in case she's somewhere that she can't answer the phone. I decide to drive by Jane's apartment, but I don't see her car. I walk up and knock on her door, but I get no answer. I'm beginning to get a little worried. I decide to drive by her mother's address too. Angela's car is there, but Jane's is not. I don't want to go talk to Angela before I've heard from Jane. I try her cell again and still, no response. I call Frost and he says that Jane called him after lunch saying she didn't feel well and that she was going home. I start to panic. If she and Angela both went home after lunch I think it's probably highly likely that their talk didn't go well. I have to find her. I know she's not at home, because I've already been there. I try to think of where she could have gone. I check the Dirty Robber then the batting cages since I know those are her favorite places to go when she's upset. I am just about at my wits end when I think of one more place she may go if she's upset.


End file.
